The Alan Parsons Coincidence Redux

You really need to read the original Alan Parson Coincidence post before continuing on to this post.

In the latest chapter of the Alan Parson's Coincidence, Karyn Olsson our friend from The Marketing Department, Inc. in Houghton sends a note to see if Sonia and I want to come to a dinner for Alan Parsons and P.J. Olsson being hosted by Milt and Trudy Olsson. Karyn thought it would be a fitting conclusion to the Alan Parson Coincidence Blog Post.

Unfortunately, I was scheduled to be in London and Sonia planned a trip to see our daughter Madeline in Minnesota. After looking at my schedule, I figured I might be able to get back in time for the dinner on Sunday.

P.J. Olsson started a Rock Camp for kids here in Houghton in the summer. The program has been quite successful. P.J. and the supporters of Rock Camp are trying to expand the program. A concert was held Saturday, March 8th to raise funds for this expansion. The concert was attended by about 500 people. It was a great turn out and financially met its fundraising goals. All reports were that the concert was well done, featuring Mr. Parsons working the up front mixing board, something he has not done for quite some time. In keeping with the spirit of the coincidence, due to travel, I of course missed the concert.

At the dinner, I was able to meet many folks from the Houghton area that I did not know. The German meal prepared by Trudy Olsson, with some assistance from The Steinhaus in Marquette, Michigan, was outstanding. God made no one more energetic than Trudy Olsson.

Turns out Alan took up magic in his youth and still performs card and coin tricks. He and a gentleman from the community Lester wowed our small crowd with some magic tricks. After some conversation and the meal, it was time to break out the vinyl records from the 60s and 70s. Alas, having given a way all our vinyl records many years ago, I have to say, they do sound better than CDs and MP3s.

Alan Parsons, yours truly, and P.J. Olsson

Toward the end of the evening, I spoke with Lisa, Alan's wife, about their solar power installation at their home in California. We discussed on-grid versus off-grid and various opinions on climate change.

Great evening for a worthwhile cause.

If it is inevitable, embrace it.

Back in Indianapolis this weekend. Sonia's dad turning that corner that we all will hit. Sometimes it happens in our 70's, sometimes in our 80's, if we are lucky enough to live that long. We have all seen it. No matter the neglect or the care, we can't do much to out pace that genetic clock and when that happens the decline sets on rapidly.

If it is inevitable, embrace it.

We are going to "Graduate of the Hearts" tonight at the University of Indianapolis, Sonia and me. Sonia should have gone to DePauw University with her intellect and incredible self discipline, persistence and focus. I probably should have gone to prison. But instead, we met somewhere in between at Indiana Central University.  Fortunately, by now, I have learned that destiny is largely inescapable and there isn't much sense in trying to control the outcomes and swim against the currents carrying us to where we are supposed to be. I suspect Sonia and I were supposed to meet there and despite too many actions without thinking on my part and poor decisions when I did make conscious choices, our lives were supposed to intersect and we were supposed to grow and transcend together.

If it is inevitable, embrace it.

I was reading one of Tom Russell's back stories for a new song "When the Legends Die." Tom, the last living Beat and incredible song writer, writes about a Christmas spent alone, no calls from the children, and a half drank bottle of wine. Mine came ten years ago. My birthday shortly before 9/11. Alone in my cabin a more than self imposed exile. The kids were too busy to see their old dad. Sonia was of course gone. One of the most gut wrenching days of my life. Just learning how not to anesthetize emotions, I made it through the day sober some how. Not by will, but by surrendering.

Just a year earlier, I had a co-birthday party with John Baryla a good friend and colleague born one day apart. Just a couple of hundred of our close  friends - renting out a Alcock's Tavern, a live one man band, and a chartered bus to a White Sox game. The night culminating in a case of mistaken identity and gun play. The definition of living large. I always said at the time live life at the extremes not the middle.

I am not sure what Tom took away from his holiday solitude, but truly alone for one of the first times, in the north woods, I celebrated one of the most important and most memorable birthday's in my life. What some would call a first birthday.

If it is inevitable, embrace it.

Back now from the "Graduates of the Heart" dinner after a busy day visiting a new friend from my high school that I hadn't seen in at least 34 years and her beau, after then spending a pleasant two hours talking with one of our professors who was important in both our lives, especially Sonia's, and visiting our alma mater, I am left thinking how fortunate I am that despite not thinking but reacting and then after learning to think, taking twenty years to learn how to surpass my emotions, that I was truly blessed to grow up in East Gary, Indiana and to seek out Indiana Central and to meet Sonia. Had it not been for the kindness of many strangers and a great deal of providence, my fate could have been entirely different. Sure it is true I took the action, and life does reward action, but the blessings flowed forth bountifully.

Now with the race largely run, I think I have moved the bar forward enough for one life time, it is now time to return those oh so many wonderful and timely gifts and kindnesses I have received in this life.

If it is inevitable, embrace it.

Jim N

Why it is time for me to give back to the community where I grew up

A couple of things happened simultaneously last fall. First, I went on to Facebook to access a couple of musical acts right at the time that folks I went to high school with were connecting and participating in the Facebook phenomenon. At that same time we were going through the final throes of my Dad’s decline from ALS preceded by the tragic loss of my niece. So two things were happening, one was the enjoyment of reconnecting with people we hadn’t talked to in many years and also the outpouring of support from that group as our family coped with our losses.

The timing of all this led to a desire on my part to reconnect to a place that was very important to me, East Gary. It has been quite a roller coaster since that time – but I have to say overall I have found reconnecting to be meaningful, enjoyable, and worthwhile. I was heartened to see the lives and families people I grew up created for themselves.

When one goes through a major life transition, we sometimes take time to contemplate the past and try to gain some perspective. The perspective I have put together over the last several months has to do with all the blessings and good fortune that has come my way.

By external measures, most folks would say I have been successful and made something of myself. Internally, I have to say that I feel content and very comfortable in my own skin now.

But, I want to challenge the “I made something of myself” premise a bit.

When I recall our childhood (speaking mainly about my and Tammi’s for the most part) I see clearly now that there was a vibrant neighbourhood on the East Side of East Gary of incredibly high quality people and at the same time a school system that had teachers and staff that cared. And that the combination of neighbours, family, church family, and teachers and their investment in us, especially me, really in large part formed who I am today and has directly led to my success.

I am not a “self made man”, I was made and much of my success came from all of the time, effort, love, and energy people invested in me growing up in East Gary. And for me this is a debt that is now due.

Let’s take a look at some of the blessings along the way.

At a difficult time in my mother’s life, being a single working mom in 1964 and 1965, with three children: Jim, Tammi, and Connie, R.O. Johnson and Betty Johnson (Jay’s parents), made available their small house behind their home where we could live. More than simply providing us a roof over our heads, R.O. and Betty looked after all of us including my mom. Being a working mom and young, my mom wasn’t always able to be there so our neighbours did things like get us to the first day of school. For example, Mrs. Enricho quickly took some craft paper and made a cowboy outfit, hat, gun and holster in about 5 minutes when I came to school without a Halloween costume so I could avoid ridicule.

Our maternal grandparents, Bessie and Willard Silverthorn, agreed to take care of Tammi and me after a brief tumultuous period living with our dad and step mother. Bessie and Willard wanted to provide some stability. And for a brief period, I benefited from being the son Willard never had. They indulged my intellect with many hobbies. Bessie and Willard were very involved in the local community, I think it is from them that I learned to be active and give back. My grandfather left local public political life in the early 1960’s after serving on the East Gary Town Board starting in the 1950’s and being very involved in the State Democratic Party. Bessie continued her involvement until her death in 1989.

Willard’s health took a turn for the worse in his early 50’s (about my age now) with his first heart attack from heart disease, caused by smoking and a sedentary lifestyle. He passed away in 1976 right before my senior year. But in that period of time from sixth grade through his passing, we had incredible neighbours, the Funkhouser’s and Munro’s that looked after Tammi and me during those periods where my Grandfather was in the hospital, which were all too frequent. Having had to retire early from the mill and faced with huge medical expenses, it was the community of East Gary that came to help us. The Lions provided a hospital bed in our house for free. We were given food by local charities. Our church Trinity United Methodist bought Tammi and I our Christmas gifts one year. For me a Boy Scout uniform and a small cross.

We were blessed with some incredible Scout leaders at the time as well that instilled discipline and skills and values. The amount of time Jim Cooley, Bob Cooke, Bob Besiagno provided and their leadership had a profound impact on all of us fortunate enough to have participate in scouting. The culmination of that was a trip to Philmont Scout Ranch in which Gil Miller and I were able to participate in 1975. For me, that trip got me in shape enough that I was able to somehow survive my first season of football my junior year.

The school system of East Gary at that time, and I hope it is still true today, looked after all of us as if we were one family. The benefits and advantages of a small town are incredible.

In our high school both Mr. Renn and Mr. Hedstrom put in the effort to provide direction for me and to demand more from me at critical moments. My junior year, in what was probably a bout of depression due to my grandfather’s declining health, I had trouble getting to school in the mornings. I was working out with Coach Renn at lunch hour. Coach Renn was an acquaintance of my dad's. My dad was living in Hobart at the time. I remember Coach Renn throwing me up against the wall by the Universal machine and saying “Son, if you don’t get your *explitive deleted* to school in the mornings you are going to have to go live with your dad in Hobart. You might get a chance to play football at East Gary, but there isn’t any way you will ever play for Hobart.” Tardiness problem solved. Both Mr. Renn and Mr. Hedstrom demanded excellence. It took me a couple of years to understand this, but I got it.

After the loss of our grandfather, a young couple moved down the street. Chano worked for my dad in the mills. He and his wife Kathy, who were just starting a family of their own, took the time to look in on and provide guidance to me and Tammi. They were there especially for Tammi. We didn’t know it at the time but our dad stepped in after Willard’s passing and provided a silent (sometimes not so silent) guiding force that continued until Tammi and I had families of our own.

When I look back and think about all of the people who went out of their way at the right moments and invested their time in us I am humbled and filled with a great sense of gratitude. I am absolutely convinced that my life, which has been nearly a miracle, would not have been possible had I grown up somewhere else.

It is for this reason that I feel the need to continue the connection with my home town of East Gary, now Lake Station, and to try and give some of my time and blessings back to that wonderful community.

I think I have been given one of the most wonderful lives anyone could hope to have.

Ruminations on the aftermath of the Credit Crisis

As the FIX Community and FPL struggles with deciding what level of involvement it must take in the current regulatory reaction to the Great Recession, I ponder the basis of regulation, alas concluding little other than the elimination of agency problems and conflicts of interest are much more effective than data collection, surveillance, pages and pages of procedural rules and that the Chicago listed derivatives market offers a successful example of enlightened regulatory-business behaviour.

Here is the thing I grapple with being very much a believer in small government and unencumbered market places, there were no regulations over OTC derivatives and the industry completely and totally ran amuck with incompetence, irrational levels of greed, irresponsibility, absolute disregard for the overall well being of the global economy. There is no escaping this fact. I don't have any answers other than to say that structural rules - such as "this is how the game will be played - now go play" make sense to me - the listed derivatives market which originated in Chicago for instance has structural rules that were created to eliminate agency risk and conflict of interest - therefore intervention by regulators is minimal. If we simply eliminate agency and conflict of interest problems we would solve the majority of problems. Make sure people cannot transfer the consequences of their decisions to someone else. If you make a loan you have to keep some of the exposure to that loan should it go bad. Make sure that people are not incentivized and rewarded for "bad" behaviour and decisions. Also, note that the modern public company - corporate structure - inherently creates an agency problem and a conflict of interest problem between those that run the company and those that own the company. The CEO is rewarded for near term results but business need long term decision making. The ultimate risk of CEO decisions now in reality is owned by the shareholders. The board of directors are supposed to represent the shareholders but they are usually handpicked by the CEOs and are usually CEOs of other firms (conflict of interest).

I hate to say it but the only model that I see that works consistently well is when you have a single creator-entrepreneur that does not abdicate control over the business entity - this engine of commerce - that they created. All other forms are fraught with failures, inefficiencies, and worse. HP vs. Apple. Microsoft post Bill Gates (as an example of what can go wrong when the leader abdicates). Dell Computers when Michael Dell was there, when he stepped away, and after his return. There is a reason Ford Motors did not need to be bailed out. There is a reason GM ran completely adrift after the US Government successfully prosecuted the anti-trust case against the DuPont family.Would AIG have been so blind as to take on the risks of insuring sub-prime loans had Hank Greenberg, the builder of AIG, not been forced out of  the company by the ludicrously ambitious Eliot Spitzer? Maybe so but I wonder. 

None of these people at the large investment banks were creators or entrepreneurs and all, even if they did ultimately lose their jobs, were left wealthy beyond all imagination, largely escaping the consequences of their actions.

There is a strong case made by Michael Lewis in the "The Big Short" that the ruin of Investment Banks lay at them moving from a partnership model to a public corporation model - where the executives running the organization were not the ultimate owners and were not responsible to other partners. Although this alone is not sufficient as we saw Arthur Anderson was a partnership and we saw its demise come from the same behaviours.

I worked for a fringe character at The Options Clearing Corporation who was not without redeeming principles and the one relevant here was "Treat the company's money as if it were your own and take care of it in the same manner." He was not saying treat the company's money as your own to take - but to treat it as though it was yours and you needed to manage it accordingly, use it wisely, and protect it. The antithesis of behavior exhibited across the spectrum of the financial services industry.

The Big Short by Michael Lewis

Where did the Republicans go?

I became a Republican in 1980 much to chagrin of my grandmother an avowed FDR Democrat. My views have not changed not much - but when I look up I am standing mostly alone. The Republican party somehow moved right when I was otherwise distracted with life. Now the party is a parody of itself. The parties are a side show to distract and obscure attention from the real party in power, the Incumbent Party.

Lest we think we know what is going on

I am not sure in which of the three least neglected blogs to put this story, but I know it is going to ramble, so why not this one? This could have been a film buff entry, as we saw an excellent 1966 Czechoslovak movie, Closely Watched Trains tonight at Club Indigo at the Calumet Theatre. As it turns out maybe even a peace apprentice entry. I spend a great deal of time with philosophy and thinking. Because of early rewards as a child, "oh Jimmy he is so smart" my grandmother would constantly say, I naturally, after a brief detour for puberty, returned to largely intellectual pursuits, by which I obtained my self esteem. So I naturally deplored mysticism and anything to do with thoughts of an after life. I also reel when confronted with thoughts of predestination or that time may not be linear. But, as someone who observes and prides himself in careful analysis, life sometimes presents us with a series of events that leave little room other than to believe in some higher power and the existence of the soul. Even my intellectual hero Camus was not satisfied with the absurd and indifferent universe he constructed for us.

I finally have the home office cleaned up enough that I was able to setup the HP Photosmart C4680 printer scanner which I bought to finish scanning my dad's and family pictures. Instead of working on a funding proposal or a project plan I ended up wanting to scan a photograph of a TF-41-A-1 aircraft engine that I worked on at Allison Gas Turbine Division of GM. The picture was too big for the scanner so I had to do a couple of scans then figure out how to splice them together. So I posted the picture to Facebook. After posting the picture I remembered back to working with this elderly British engineer from Rolls Royce who was one of the few Royal Air Force pilots to get his fighter plane off the ground to battle the Germans over the skies of London during the Battle of Britain. So that was last night.

Tonight we attended Club Indigo - which includes an optional dinner prior to the movie. Even though we were only fashionably late most people were already there for the dinner by the time we arrived. The only open table was near three elderly folks. As it turned out we were very fortunate to be seated with Ken Bracco, Tom and Jenny Secor. Turns out that Tom Secor, now 87 years old, flew multi-engine aircrafts in World War II in the US Navy. I told Tom that in addition to the TF-41, I had also worked on the T-56 engine which is still used in the C-130 multi-engine aircraft. I joked that this was a bit after Tom's time, only to find out Tom had worked on C-130 aircraft programs during his career as well.

The Allison Gas Turbine T-56 Engine

Ken was a former Michigan State Police Officer who later became an internal investigator for both Oldsmobile and then later Michigan Tech. Ken was unfortunately caught up in the Ventures scandal at Michigan Tech - which eventually led him to be involved in a court case that went not once but twice to the Michigan State Supreme Court. On a normal night these stories alone, along with the excellent meal by Chef Cormac of The Irish Times in Laurium, Michigan, and an incredibly delightful movie full of absurdist Czech humor that ends suddenly and poignantly, would have been worthwhile. But, all of this magic and confluence together would not have been enough for me to defy sleep and responsibilities to the omnipresent demands of the business to write this story.

So what then did make me write this story?

"I died." "I passed over to the 4th dimension." "I was met there by three spirit guides." "They said they would help me into eternity or would help me return to earth it was up to me. Being twenty-four years old at the time and being a ball of fire I told them I had to return to earth."

With that Tom and Ken, who is about 12 years younger than Tom, recounted the story of the ill fated test flight in which Tom flew with Dr. McClure and Ed Shmeltz in 1948. No one is sure why Dr. McClure accidentally flew the airplane at full speed into the Houghton County airport hangar instantly killing all three aboard the flight.

But, one of those men who died on board that ill fated test flight was given a chance to return to earth and lead a very, very full life despite incredible physical injuries sustained in the plane crash. Tom was declared legally dead by the coroner, his body covered in a tarp and left to be picked up by an ambulance. Some time later a six year old boy heard a whimper and alerted adults nearby. Tom had returned from the other side. Tom tells the story much better than I do - yes he uses the Internet at age 87.

How often do we get so caught up in the physical reality of the world and get caught up in our own intellects where we think we really know what is going on? We discount phenomena as mere coincidence. Ah the folly of the delusions of control and causality we humans construct for ourselves.

Surely, I was meant to reconnect with my aerospace background from twenty years ago in preparation for our chance meeting with Ken, Tom, and Jenny tonight. When we walked into the dinner - they looked up as if they had been expecting us all along. Just as surely as I was supposed to share this story with our friends who have suffered incredibly heart wrenching losses of family members, especially children. Let them know there is an infinity beyond our earth bound, gravity weighted, oft burdened,  and ephemeral existence.

In eternity our children can be our guides and our teachers. There is no hierarchy between parent and child in Tom's 4th dimension, only souls closely connected for all eternity. Eternity being the absence of the tyranny of time. We will all once again reconnect with those that have gone before us.

Sounds like heaven to me...

-JimN

For Connie, Kaleen, Kurt, and Molly

Sleep Apnea - easy to treat - many people don't

Doing research on Richard Dent's deserved nomination to the NFL Hall of Fame, led me to recall Reggie White. SLEEP APNEA likely led to the death of NFL Hall of Famer Reggie White at 43 years old. I believe one of our friends said we lost classmate Alan Ballard due to sleep apnea. If you are like me and snore loudly, are overweight (I am a svelte 300 lbs.), and often wake up more tired than when you went to bed or feel like you were run over by a truck when you wake up- YOU NEED TO SCHEDULE A SLEEP STUDY. Use of a CPAP machine is simple, only slightly obtrusive, but it can be life changing. Like my doctor told me a couple of weeks ago at my annual physical "you probably used to be smart, think of all those brain cells you lost not treating your sleep apnea." And heck he didn't even know about all those years of binge drinking before I finally gave up the hooch. The CPAP machine is a non-pharmaceutical and very simple way to improve quality of life and will likely extend your life. And life is so very short and precious.
Sleep apnea damages your heart and your brain.

Teddy Roosevelt - To the Man in the Arena

Most of my life I have tried to be one of the participants often despite my better judgment and anxieties. For life is lived in the arena. I saw this speech once hanging in the office of someone I worked with in Chicago. I drew inspiration from it.

"It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly...who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at best, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

Theodore Roosevelt, 1910

The entire speech by Roosevelt

Elise's Blog

A great quote on the music business from Hunter S. Thompson

"THE MUSIC BUSINESS IS A CRUEL AND SHALLOW MONEY TRENCH-- A LONG PLASTIC HALLWAY WHERE THIEVES AND PIMPS RUN FREE AND GOOD MEN DIE LIKE DOGS. THERE'S ALSO A NEGATIVE SIDE..." -Hunter S. Thompson

Tuba Christmas 2009 - Houghton, Michigan

PC130259
Originally uploaded by jimnup

Played my first Tuba Christmas concert in Houghton. We practiced for a couple of hours. The other musicians were from the Tech pep band and local high schools. I was probably twenty years older (at least) than the Michigan Tech music director. We played as the warm up act for a group of local high school bands and choirs. As usual practiced better than I performed, but overall it was a good time and the arrangements that the Harvey Phillips Association put together for Tuba Christmas are well done. I am glad I spent the time practicing before the concert. Looking forward to the next one.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Deck the Halls

Pat-A-Pan

Band Instrument Sales Day becomes Tuba Christmas

Yesterday was band instrument sales day at our house when I tried to sell the used, dilapidated band instruments I paid way too much on eBay for when in 2005 I had this brilliant original idea that I was going to quit the finance industry and apprentice for free at Badger State musical instrument repair instead. Well in retrospect that may have been a stupid idea. But there was an analog to this. I wanted to learn to play some of these old instruments so that I could play next to a Salvation Army kettle and to also play in the Tuba Christmas.

You see I never really got to pick the instrument I played in school. My grandfather played baritone and tuba especially in dance bands in the 30s and 40s. He also played in the US Steel Gary Works Concert Band. Like my band mates Dana Follow, Dennis Norman, and David Rawdon, my grandfather had great tone. Tone can't be taught. But he didn't choose for me. Mr. Hedstrom did. Mr. Hedstrom was one of the coolest people on the planet, even if you throw Johnny Carson in the mix. And, he is an incredible music talent. How he ended up at East Gary I don't know. I am picturing the gods deciding Herb's fate and one of them says, "put him in East Gary, we ought to throw them a bone every once in a while."
I suspect Mr. Hedstrom knew talent when he saw it and he thought to himself this rotund little fifth grader is going to grow up to be a big rotund high schooler and as such he can carry a tuba.
Anyway, Mr. Hedstrom and his cousin Mr. Renn the wrestling coach and assistant football coach were good to me and really looked out for me as my grandfather was dying and especially after he passed away. But, shirley I digress and I won't call you Shirley anymore, I promise.
I never repaid Mr. Hedstrom's loyalty. I improbably went out for football my junior year after submitting to much peer pressure from Gil Miller and Bob Munro. Yes, it went about as well as you would imagine - but I was used to embarrasment and could persevere. But I was not going to be anywhere close to playing in a real game that first year so the deal struck was that me and Jim Penrod, a year younger, would change from football uniform into band uniform, march at half time, and then change back into football gear. Gil Miller didn't have to march with the band that year. See the thing was, Gil played trombone, but Jim Penrod and I played tuba, more specifically in this case the sousaphones, of which Mr. Hedstrom in his musical and marching band wisdom obsessed on having four of. You see three is not symmetrical. Tough to work with three. Two is just not enough bass sound. Yes, and I now see the wisdom, four is the perfect number for a band that has between 50 and 75 participants.
Between my junior and senior years three things happened: I grew, I worked out a lot, and very life changingly my grandfather died on June 4th, 1976. When football time came around, I was actually vying for a starting position on a very good team. I had worked my way up from total embarassment as a football player all the way up to being an average mediocre football player. Not bad for one year's work.
Later as most people know I went on to play football in college. Do you know what an average mediocre high school football player becomes if he works very hard at it in college? Yes, exactly a average college football player.
So back to Mr. H and my non-loyalty. During two a days we were up at the junior high. They were expanding the high school so we couldn't practice there. I knew the showdown was going to happen and sure enough Mr. Hedstrom came to the junior high between practices to approach the subject of his prodigal, glory seeking fourth sousaphone player. I am not sure why but the decision was made by Coach Hamilton that I was needed and couldn't be expected to change at half time and march with the band. I remember seeing Mr. Hedstrom after the meeting. Yes, I did say he was cool and hip, but this cool guy could also get a bit pissed off. He didn't say anything he just gave me that mad and disappointed look, you know the one when it is obvious to everyone in the band that you didn't bother to practice your part. That year I was responsible for causing a three sousaphone marching band. And this is just so wrong on so many levels. I just wanted to be seen as a cool jock not a tuba player. Now here is the interesting part or not. I finished playing college football after 5 years in 1981-82. However I still have a tuba and in my first few years at the Allison Gas Turbine Division of GM where I worked in the metallurgical area (my grandfather coincidentally was a metallurgical tech at US Steel), I played in the final few iterations of the Detroit Diesel Alison Concert Band in Indianapolis playing , you guessed it, the sousaphone.

So last night musical instrument sales day at our house was met with great disappointment when Dan McCourt from 10 hours away by car did not want to make an offer on my mellophone, my dilapidated Eflat upright tuba (did I tell you I was planning to go into instrument repair?), and my alto horn which I didn't know there was such a thing until 2005. Dan did make a $300 offer on my Conn BBflat tuba. At that price I said I would keep it. Dejected, though not nearly as much as my wife Sonia who shares our roughly 1500 square feet living area with my brass menagerie, while Sonia was at her yoga class, with Monday night football on the TV, I broke out an old Christmas carol song book for piano and electronic organ of my grandfathers that dates from 1970 and transposed the keys in my head so I could play over an hours worth of Christmas carols on the BBflat tuba after not playing for at least 25 years to absolutely terrorize my daughter who lives in an apartment below us. It must have been especially embarassing because her boyfriend Chad was over.
So how could I pick up the tuba after 25 years and transpose the music on the fly? Because I have musical aptitude. But as my daughter can now attest and much to Mr. Hedstrom's dissapointment and frustration, I do not have musical talent. Talent is not the same as aptitude.
Anyway, the good news is of all places, Houghton, Michigan here in the UP has a Tuba Christmas on December 13th. See you there or at the one in Chicago or possibly even the one in Indianapolis.
In conclusion I should have marched at half time in the band.
My name really is Earle, so I want to apologize to Mr. Hedstrom for the jerk move of an insecure, testosterone addled, and unappreciative kid. Mr. H deserved better. My band mates deserved better.
I still need to dump some old and arcane brass instruments if anyone is in the market.
Footnote: My daughter never mentioned the tuba playing so I brought it up to her. She said she heard and she was not embarassed because they are used to me by this time.

An unpopular stance on technology?

I just read an essay in defense of the Unabomber’s manifesto against technology by Chuck Klosterman in his book “Eating the Dinosaur”. I agree with Klosterman’s conclusions:
1) Theodore Kaczynski was turned into a sociopath by Harvard and his actions undermined his credability and his message AND most importantly it is completely unacceptable to use violence for a cause, any cause – unless it is to stop someone from directly killing you or your family. Period the end. Violence Bad. Let me say it again absolutely unacceptable behaviour and Theodore Kaczynski should remain behind bars for at least one life time. Once we have perfected the technology – we need to bring him back two or three more times imprisoned for life. Let's of course let the High Priests at Harvard go unpunished as they are High Priests after all.
Jim's own aside: I also don’t accept that States should become murderers by proxy – death penalty unacceptable, until there is absolute honesty from legal authorities and perfect human judgement from jurors and judges – state sponsored life termination is not acceptable. Even assuming absolutely the best intentions – to err is human.
2) Kaczynski’s point, albeit ramblingly said, is spot on and that conclusion is that technology is bad overall for humans as it is fundamentally dehumanizing

AND lastly

3) I agree with Klosterman - so what if it is bad – I ain’t signing up – I am going to continue to advance, participate in, and promote technology. I further agree with Chuck Klosterman, he and I would be at the top of Kaczynski’s list if he were still on his rampage of very discriminate terror. Why? Because we get what he says – we agree with it, but we flat out ain’t going along with it. I am staying on the dark side. Long live science and technology.

I am more concerned with those with absolute faith and belief in science and technology more than those that are fearful and suspicious of the same. Because philosophically speaking Science and Technology have become the main religion of the 20th and 21st centuries. How is this so?
1) Science has become the source of omniscience and omnipotence,
2) Explanations and messages are given only by metaphor in scientific jargon that has replaced Latin by High Priests (scientists) who discover the wisdom and are held separate from the layity (the rest of us) in terms of authority and status,
3) there is an implicit societal requirement for all people to absolutely believe these metaphors handed down by the high priests of this religion. When in fact all knowledge is provisional and flawed at best, completely erroneous at its worst.

Long live our new god science and may I be seen as its humble servant.

We have to believe in something now that Markets are no longer our god and source of omniscience and omnipotence.

By the way if you haven't read any of the works by pop culture essayist, critic, and incredible writer Chuck Klosterman - do so now.

Panera Breads - a thank you

The Wall Street Journal asked readers where they like to go for Wifi access in response to an article on Coffee Shops having to crack down on laptop users:

No More Perks: Coffee Shops Pull the Plug on Laptop Users

My Full Response
Panera - they don't charge for wifi (like other shops) - they do post signs asking you to use smaller tables and ask that laptop users be sensitive to lunch time crowds. The Panera's I have been to also keeps the music down during work hours - and then increase or change music format at the busy times- lunch for instance. I usually try to clear out at lunch time and I also make sure to patronize the establishment - I am happy to give them what I would otherwise be paying for online access at other coffee shops or via purchasing a slower Cellular modem for my PC. I usually try to stash away in a corner on a small table. Unfortunately there is the 10%-er rule of jerkish behavior. In a Chicago Panera I frequent there is usually someone (not the same person each time) working on their notebook by themselves at the one table designed to seat a large lunch party - effectively taking up a place that could be occupied for up to 8 people. This kind of insensitive behavior is why these benefits often have to be curtailed or taken away by shop owners. Keep up the good work Panera - and I will keep paying you as I work!
A place of escape for the jobless
Times are tough (unless you live in Washington DC it seems having just visited there that times is good! Just keep printin' that money). I hope shop keepers will be sensitive to the job searchers who are unemployed. Hopefully those folks that have used these shops as part of their job search activities will be sure to patronize these shops once they return to the land of the employed. Having a place to get out to after a job loss is therapeutic and valuable and a positive mental attitude is important when trying to land that next paying gig.
Brother can you spare a dime... Why? A coffee costs at least $2.00 now.

Boomers need to get a grip on reality

Bloomberg had an article on an economist who lost his job. The gentleman in the article seems like a good guy - my blog is not aimed at him and I don't want to send any jabs his way. He is clearly trying to re-establish he and his family's life post-credit collapse. The quote that really prompted me to make this post was this one:

"Roberts never earned millions from Wall Street. In his best years, he made $500,000, which provided scant cushion against prolonged unemployment or career upheaval. His salary is more representative than those of the chief executive officers and hedge fund managers who have been pilloried in congressional hearings.

Since when even in these high flying times has $500,000.00 per year not permitted someone to set aside some serious retirement money? I think this article really tells me how warped and unrealistic the entire financial services industry became prior to the crash. So let's say Mr. Roberts, again he is not the target of this article, made $200,000.00 per year. That amount is significantly higher than the following median salaries and shows just how far the financial services industry was completely beyond anything reasonable.
Median Salaries in the US according to PayScale.com (which is used by employers - so I multiplied the Median by 1.5 to try and adjust things up).

• Lawyer: $114,000.
• Sr. Software Engineer: $135,000.
• Office Manager: $58,000.
• Software Engineer: $96,000.
• Construction Project Manager: $104,000.
• Retail Store Manager: $62,000.
• Registered Nurse: $90,000.
• Vice President, Operations: $184,000.

Again keep in mind this is the median of a large sample size multiplied by 1.5 - so they represent very generous salaries. It is just shocking looking at the salaries earned in regular jobs compared with those in finance.

Now we have to face hardship and things seem to continue to get worse. Boomers - whenever we get to some point in development or face some situation - we act as though this is the first time anyone has been through anything similar. It is always about us. Soft, pampered, narcissistic are we.

'Tweeting' Carefully to Avoid SEC Ire

I saw this headline in the Wall Street Journal:
'Tweeting' Carefully to Avoid SEC Ire
More companies are using blogs and "tweets" to communicate with investors and customers, but risk running afoul of SEC regulations.

I understand the point of the story - but the rule and regulation based approach used by the SEC to protect investors is excessive and largely ineffective.

I assume that Bernie Madoff was not twittering or tweeting - though some of those around him might be singing like birdies right now.

For all those that need to learn this lesson yet again

There are sound human behavior reasons to emphasize small government and segregation of government from economic activities. A couple of headlines really emphasize the point yet again.

Bailed-Out Banks Face Probe Over Fee Hikes
Banking institutions bolstered by capital infusions from the government face intensified scrutiny from TARP's oversight committee following a rash of complaints about higher interest rates and fees to consumers.

In this headline the issue is that banks are being limited on their ability to increase fees. There are plenty of smaller healthier banks that are not charging interest rates. Normal consumer behavior, will result in people moving to smaller healthier banks as a result of these transaction fees. We had a major bank to remain nameless acquire one of our local banks a number of years ago. Sure enough they hiked their account fees. We moved to the local credit union. Apparently enough other people took similar action that the big bank lowered their fees to be competitive.
The other issue with TARP is, healthy banks were strongly encouraged to take TARP funds under the guise of increasing the amount of money that could be lent. Now sure enough, any bank that has taken TARP is considered a "bad bank" and falls under government scrutiny.

Action on AIG Unit May Cost Taxpayers
AIG's financial-products unit is on track to wind down by year end and had 20 employees quit amid March's bonus controversy.

The point to be made in this story is that the bonus at financial firms was not simply a performance reward it was a fundamental part of the salary structure. When the furor over AIG bonuses came to light - the resulting consequences are that many people left AIG. Many of these people were the competent employees with the experience to help rebuild AIG. Likely AIG will now continue to be destroyed by further government involvement and sold off piece meal. The good news is there will be a number of other organizations that will snap up the pieces at government fire sale prices and at tax payers expense and make a windfall.

The bottom line on all of this is that in any complex system, intervention and command driven actions invariably are unable to take into account all of the interaction effects and interdependencies and lead to unintended consequences. On the other hand complex systems have a tendency to be self regulating and if given the chance will return to some sort of equilibrium, unless prevented from doing so.

Midwinter contentment

Well, we have had plenty of winter this year. Very few melts, maybe only one, and nearly daily snowfall. December was rough as the snow arrived the beginning of November and has stayed on a perfectly content and mostly prostrate guest.
Today they came by to do some grooming on the sides of the road - cutting back the piles on the side of the road so there is a place to put the next round of snow.
The snow blower became stuck in the snow drift- more wedged in that stuck, requiring a large payloader to pull it out. I was home so I captured a picture of the two vehicles in front of the house.

So I guess it is time to post a couple more snow scenes from December. It is a good winter this year - settled in now and fully embracing it back now.

Bird Ingestion

I got a job at Allison Gas Turbine Division of GM (now Rolls Royce Allison) in 1980. The job was probably one of the most fortuitous and important things that happened to me. Sure I nearly squandered the opportunity several times - as I was a mad man at the time - but managed to have a good run there.
One of my first jobs was maintaining one of the accident data files. I was a popular kid – everyone wanted to see the reports. Because AGTD engines were used in helicopters – there were frequent incidents. The year I maintained the database there were 400 incidents in 1980. Everyone liked to read the reports. "Bird Ingestion" and "Bird Strike were two of my favorite reason codes.
At AGTD they used to test the engines by throwing frozen chickens into the intake. I never got to observe this form of testing and it was not done very often.
I just missed a flight that left Houghton close to ten years ago that hit a herd of deer on take off. The propeller on one side was torn off and ripped the fuselage – no injuries. They served ground venison on the flight (not really). Actually another interesting aside – or not – the regional airline here doesn’t have repair facilities – so they have essentially a flying mechanics shop in a Dash-8 aircraft that flies around doing major repairs – they had to fly in parts and mechanics to repair the plane. The Dash-8 could bring in an entire engine assembly.
Well today we got to see an amazing, amazing amount of good and bad luck - dual bird ingestion - extremely rare; being able to do a successful no power water landing - just as rare if not rarer.

Observations on the cultural influences on the use of weapons

In 1965 the Cubans sent a small contingent of advisors into the Congo led by Che Guevara This initial foray in support of African liberation movements was not successful. An interesting aside worthy of another journal entry was the fact that Cuba had its own agenda separate from Moscow and was not the Soviet puppet as so many thought. The African expeditions by the Cubans were undertaken without Soviet Union foreknowledge or approval. In fact, many times over the thirty year period Cuba was involved in Africa, they and the Soviets often disagreed on both policy and actions.

Hopefully, it goes without saying, but I am not one of those in the bourgeois class that idealize Che Guevara. I have long concluded that even though I believe social justice is a paramount ideal and a very necessary practicality, implementing oppressive tyrannical states in the name of the people is not the way to achieve it.

The group of thirty Cubans sent to train the rebels in the Congo was dismayed at the hurdles encountered in teaching the rebels to fight. It was not an issue of bravery, but one in terms of motor skills and coordination. This was attributed to cultural differences in a documentary, Cuba: An African Odyssey on Cuban activism on the African continent. Identifying this phenomenon as a cultural issue really caught my attention and necessitated at least a little further thought.

The most interesting account from one of the Cuban trainers had to do with the use of the rifle. The Congolese rebels could not aim the gun, they couldn't not close one eye. It was a very difficult task for them to perform. Instead, they would hold the gun up and shoot it without aiming. Often rebels were more at risk from being shot by one of their comrades instead of the opposing forces. Many had to actually cover one eye when aiming because they could not close it on their own - having never perfected the motor skills to do so.

I had never before thought about the cultural aspect and its impact on motor skills. Clearly something obvious, but a shallow mind leads to shallow thoughts. Alas, my own curiosity seems to stop at knowing things and some basic assumed causality instead of plunging one or two layers of the onion deeper to look at a more significant level.

We grow up in much of the western world from a very early age exposed to the use of our weapons of choice, guns. We are given cowboy outfits and toy guns from an early age. We idealize military and the wild west. We learn to aim our toy guns, which become B-B guns, then .22 caliber rifles and .410 or .20 gauge shotguns.

At that time in Africa, I imagine culturally throwing spears and possibly shooting a bow were indoctrinated in the same implicit, yet pervasive approach as we have done in the west. By now, nearly 50 years after Cuba's failed attempts in the Congo, the use of a gun is probably now second nature throughout the African continent.

I wonder if this indoctrination possibly plays a larger role in an evolutionary sense where the society indoctrinates its members into mechanisms for group survival. The practice of war is much more of a norm than an exception.

President Elect Obama continues to impress me

President Elect Obama continues to impress me. My vote was based upon an assumption that the man was first and foremost a rational decision maker. He appears to be managing to the center, trying to engage both the left and right, and more importantly he has brought competence, experience, and intelligence into his cabinet.

His task is nearly impossible, but I believe we have chosen as qualified and capable an individual as is available at this time in our history.

The election process here in the United States serves a valuable purpose in terms of educating and steeling the successful candidate for what is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, President of the United States.

That we were collectively frightened enough about the future to look past race and age and relative experience in this election is commendable. We either have elected the next FDR or the next Jimmy Carter. I hope for the former not the latter.

A crossing of paths - Studs Terkel and Barack Obama

Studs Terkel represented to me everything good about America. He was Chicago. How unfortunate that Studs did not see America do something distinctly American. Just when you count American's out and lose your hope in their decision making, they surprise you and do something as profound as elect a President of mixed race from a city that was an example of institutionalized racism and segregation. Studs loved Chicago. He openly criticized Chicago. He held Chicago accountable to his own high ideals of social justice.
Whereas Martin Luther King, Jr. had a profound effect on changing the south, his greatest challenge may have come when he moved to Chicago. He was met with fear that bred intense anger and violence. This was the time of block busting when real estate agents would start the rumor of a black family moving in to a neighborhood. People were warned not to be the last to sell or they would risk losing their main asset and financial security, their homes. Cities outlawed for sale signs in a futile attempt to stop the stampede to the suburbs and the resulting destruction of housing values and neighborhoods.
Mayor Richard J. Daley, the builder of the great concrete jungles such as the Robert Taylor homes and Cabrini Green, segregated, confined, and isolated the blacks by water and interstates. These housing projects fought for by the liberal elites largely became prisons, with the exception that prisons had heat, running water, and were much safer. Only now after the truncated ascendancy of Harold Washington and under an entirely different Mayor Daley blacks are now finding their strength and independence, only to be eclipsed by the rising Hispanic community and coming majority.
So how fitting it is then, that from the Land of Lincoln, and the City of big shoulders would we see the first mixed race president. I am proud of America. Studs is smiling, proud of his Chicago. His Chicago that is a good town. A tough town but a good town filled with good people. Studs you will be missed. President Obama you are assuming the helm at one of the more precarious times in American History, godspeed to you. At least in this most difficult of times, we have seen fit to pick our best and brightest. Let's protect him and support him as he finds his way in the most diffficult of all roles, leader of the world. Studs would have insisted upon it.

Why I am voting for Barack Obama

Do I really know Barack Hussein Obama? No. Could he be a closet marxist that will work to change America in unacceptable ways? Could be. But as of this writing, I really don't believe this. My reasoning has led me to conclude based upon his background and his performance during the election that he is someone that has a combination of liberal ideas tempered by reason and discipline.
Is there some question regarding his honesty? I find this to be a naive question to ask of a politician. Our best leaders have been able to credibly present what "should be" not "what is" and to also use persuasion to accomplish what they feel is right, not to mention the ability to carefully craft a response to deflect opposition and criticism. I have concluded for myself that he has more integrity than most of his peers. But he is still a politician, and we are electing a politician. I want no more rank amateurs with only familial ties to politicians leading our country.
Obama is a very well educated and professional politician with community, state, and national political experience.
Few candidates have been tested as Obama has been during this absurdly long presidential election. He took on direct attacks from the Clinton family - one of the preeminent political forces ever to appear on the American landscape. He has been tested by the "credit crisis", which has the potential to have the same impact on the world as the Great Depression of the 20's and 30's. Instead of erratic actions - he gathered about him well reasoned and respected leaders, Buffett, Rubin, Volker to name a few. An act which in and of itself had a settling effect on the American populous. His opponent instead sounded the alarm and increased the level of concern by suspending his campaign.
Three books have helped inform my choice on which candidate to vote for. The first is by Andrew J. Bacevich entitled The Limits of Power: The End of American Exceptionalism. Professor Bacevich explains clearly the consequences of and the limits to our current American society that is focused on consumption and personal freedom from responsibility. Are Bush and Cheney responsible for our current plight of endless war and and a collapsing economy? No. They are a product of each of our strong desire for affordable consumer goods, free energy, and the desire to not have to contribute to American's wealth and safety. We produced them. Yes, they came willingly, but it is you and I as Americans that chose them. It was also the democrats that did not have the courage to tell Americans that there are limits to consumption and irresponsibility, instead of producing candidates of courage, they produced in 2000 and 2004 presidential candidates whose strongest merits were that they had worked their entire lives focused on a single goal - becoming President of the United States.
I respect John McCain. I supported him for President in 2000 when he was running against a relatively inexperienced governor with a questionable background, a lack of education and understanding of politics and economics. McCain's opposition in the 2000 Republican primary was someone who was likely at that time less qualified to be President than Sarah Palin. His opponent in 2000 was of course G.W. Bush.
Alas, after eight years of American Exceptionalism and arrogance and reckless exhaustion of our military and economic power, we must now look to return to a course set during the Clinton administration, that being one of multilateral participation in the international community in partnership with other sovereign nations of the world. Alas, Senator McCain has surrounded himself with leaders of the neo-conservative movement. The temptation, which I too share, to hold America up as the greatest and most powerful nation on earth and to view it as somehow having a more important place in world history and to view it as not having limits is extremely appealing and intoxicating. However, we have to realize that we have reached the limits to our power, politically, economically, and militarily.
The second book which I am just finishing up is written by Robert Baer, the former CIA Agent who worked in the middle east in the 1980s and 90s. The Devil We Know: Dealing with the New Iranian Superpower explains the folly of the US invasion of Iraq and goes on to explain why the only potential for any positive impact within the Middle East is nuanced diplomacy and economic engagement not a military response. The US must stop threatening other nations, for the only reaction and consequence is a military escalation resulting from fear. Obama may not be able to resolve or improve the situation in the middle east, but he at least has the right perspective and skills to make an attempt. The Neocon response likely from a McCain administration will most probably lead to a further reduction in US influence and an increase in instability and violence.
Economic Disaster
The result of the past thirty years of deregulation, which actually started in the Carter administration, not the Reagan administration as is popularly believed has led us to a global financial crisis that will impact nearly everyone on the planet. This is quite an accomplishment. Recovery is going to take time. Unemployment rates will likely reach levels not seen since the 1930s. Millions have lost their financial security. The recovery is going to require a practical and intelligent response. Charles R. Morris, one of the most informed and prescient elder statesmen in finance has explained the current financial crisis, which is still unfolding, probably only now in its 5th or 6th inning, in his unsettling book The Trillion Dollar Meltdown: Easy Money, High Rollers, and the Great Crash. Mr. Morris provided a clear road map for the consequences of excessive deregulation, artificially relaxed money policy, and the misuse of sophisticated credit derivative instruments. But, if deregulation got us into our current once a century crisis, excessive, ill conceived, and hastily enacted regulation will surely prolong the crisis, possibly indefinitely. We need competence and reason in the White House. Obama has more intelligence, communication skills, and reason than does his opponent. We will need it. Will it be enough? Of this I am skeptical, but lets go into this worsening crisis with the best we have.
Age and running mate choice
The next president is going to face challenges similar to those faced after 9/11 and by the economic and political crises of the mid to late 1970s and early 80s. We need someone with the energy and stamina to hold up for at least four if not eight years. Senator McCain's age and his medical history create an unacceptable risk at this critical time. Compound the advanced age and history of melanoma, with the choice of Sarah Palin as Vice President and the risk of a McCain presidency is too great. Obama's choice of running mate was very similar to John Kennedy's, a senior Senator with decades of experience to counterbalance his relatively short tenure and young age. Senator Biden doesn't have presidential charisma, but he has experience and competence. Vice Presidents at their best do the heavy lifting behind the scenes. Nixon as the Vice President for Eisenhower, and to a certain extent Gore in the Clinton administration are representative examples of working Vice Presidents. Biden may be a bundle of malapropisms - but he is competent, experienced, and hard working and he is ready to assume the presidency if needed.
Finally
So it is with some measured optimism and with no sense of loss, that I find myself voting for a Democrat in the Presidential election for the second time in my life.
Please think then vote
No matter if you agree with me or ardently disagree please think for yourself. Weigh the choices carefully, for we do have real choices in this election, and then exercise your right and great privilege to vote.

Thought for the day

Soft and easy living atrophies character

On Derivatives and markets

I learned finance within the listed derivatives market, having the distinct privilege in having my second financial markets job be at The Options Clearing Corporation. The OCC (not to be confused with the other OCC - Office of the Comptroller of the Currency) is the clearing house for listed equity derivatives, primarily, but not limited to, stock and stock index options. OCC is a not-for-profit, self regulatory organization, wholly owned by the derivatives exchanges for which it clears. The OCC is designed to eliminate risk by ensuring the capital adequacy of participants, known as clearing members, who legally hold the positions that result from trading options (and certain futures products).
It is from this bias that I looked upon the significantly larger over the counter derivatives markets. There is no central counterparty for OTC derivatives. There is no authoritative source of price discovery. There is only complex instruments that are defined using master agreements created by the International Swaps and Derivatives Association (ISDA).
When I was in graduate school, there was frequent debate over certain OTC forward contracts as to whether they were standardized enough to be considered Futures contracts (a forward contract is an agreement to buy or sell something at a future date - a futures contract is a forward contract that has standardized delivery date and standardized delivery) and if so should they be regulated by the CFTC and traded on a Futures Exchange.
The tide turned in the later 1990s and into the 2000s along the following lines. The SEC and CFTC would continue to protect the small investor, while at the same time freeing up the sophisticated professional market participants who did not require regulation. Under this laissez-faire environment entirely new financial innovations and structures were created including hedge funds, credit derivatives, and securitization. The Glass-Steagall Act enacted during the great depression that created a firewall between investment banking and commerical banking was repealed using the argument that America could not be competitive in the global banking arena with such arcane and outmoded regulation.
An article appeared in Atlantic Monthly entitled The Market as God - convincingly showing how we had deified the market place as being both omniscient (all knowing) and omnipotent(all powerful).
By 2006, the amount of leverage held by banks was absurd. Each major investment bank controlled trillions dollars in assets based upon a meager amount of equity in the neighborhood of 30 billion dollars. There were no longer any controls and worse yet the commercial banking sector was no longer immune to this speculation.
Which leads me back to the initial concept - my bias and view that an effective self regulatory structure can work if done properly. And from my perspective, the structure created for the US listed options markets, which has been replicated globally, can serve as the effective model for appropriate governance and controls without creating an inefficient over regulated market place that cannot thrive.

John Lothian's newsletters featured this perspective using quotes from industry titans...

Hard look at legacy

Alan Greenspan championed derivatives and rejected regulation, an approach some blame for the current crisis.

"Not only have individual financial institutions become less vulnerable to shocks from underlying risk factors, but also the financial system as a whole has become more resilient." -- Alan Greenspan, then Federal Reserve chairman, 2004

George Soros, the prominent financier, avoids using the financial contracts known as derivatives "because we don't really understand how they work."

Felix G. Rohatyn, the investment banker who saved New York from financial catastrophe in the 1970s, described derivatives as potential "hydrogen bombs."

And Warren Buffett presciently observed five years ago that derivatives were "financial weapons of mass destruction, carrying dangers that, while now latent, are potentially lethal."

Thought on empire

Alas, we Americans have become like the Romans - weakened by empire. Regrettable as consequences necessarily follow. To which,Eugene Rabkin, a colleague, replied, yes all empires fall, let's hope ours falls like the British one did. Quite clever are those Brits.

Quality

I am back to this obsession with quality though - I think it is the only thing other than blind luck or corruption that can lead to entrepreneurial success. There are other aspects of course, but quality, be it a quality idea valued by a market, quality execution of an otherwise unoriginal idea, all come back to some essence of quality.

Seven years on

Seems like a lifetime ago - 2001 - so much has changed.

Listening to Springsteen's The Rising

Kenya may be out in front of the US in this area - but we will catch up

Kenya definitely is out in front of the US in terms of burning suspected witches.

But, based upon the current trends, the US should be able to catch up in this area by 2015.

Was it Hayek or Schumpeter that viewed that in general the human species is in a state of chaos, violence, in which reason and advances are lost, and there are only brief periods of enlightenment and freedom.

Are we moving away from reason and enlightenment or is this just a symptom of the limits of consumerism as an economic basis for existence?

OTC Derivatives

Just some sayings on Over the counter derivative trading...

OTC Derivatives when you positively have to trade without price discovery, transparency, and risk management.

OTC Derivatives the only way to make $500 Billion Dollars disappear without declaring war on Iraq.

You know in general – my one goal is that before I get out of life I won’t any longer be a slave to a pursuit of recognition and self esteem

The only time I achieve this now is when I am in full self denial or those brief periods in the presence of recognition and that fleeting feeling of completing some task or another

Quote from Forbes

"Choose always the way that seems the best, however rough it may be; custom will soon render it easy and agreeable."

-Pythagoras

The Guantlet by Rich Shriver

A friend and colleague of mine, Rich Shriver shares his thoughts on this the sixth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attack.

The Gauntlet

I walked the Gauntlet today
it is a path I've taken many times
on the other side is something brighter

today is particularly hard

I believe I can see the difference in their faces
- the one's who were there
- those that lost someone
- the one's who want to know more
and those that are there for the spectacle

each picture or banner or arrangement of flowers
is to remind us all of points of light that are gone

I think of David, his wife, his son

I can no longer see through the tears

I feel rage and anger, sorrow and sadness
my mood is amplified by the crowd and the sirens
I smell the burning concrete
I see the flames in burnt out windows
I feel the dust falling on me
I hear the madness of it all

I can't breathe
my heart is racing
the open space is closing in with crowds of people
laughing,
crying, and
walking

everybody stares

And then I'm finally through
my body aches
my eyes are filled with clouds of yesterday
I'm drenched with sweat and
I smell the residue of panic and fear

even though I don't want to, I will always remember

Every American should take the Path train to New York

Originally Posted April 13, 2006...

I had the privilege of taking the Path train from New Jersey to New York this week. The Path goes under the Hudson to New York from New Jersey. The stop in New York is the same as it was on 9-11, the World Trade Center site. The Path train enters the World Trade Center site from the northeast corner and makes a circle around the site before stopping in the rebuilt station.

I only ride the Path a few times a year - not enough to become familiarized and habituated to the experience. Each train ride is still filled with a sense of awe, disbelief, reverence, and a feeling of loss. The idea that these buildings were destroyed five years ago is still hard to conceive. Somehow, the War in Iraq, the subsequent attacks around the world, the tsunami, the hurricanes, the earthquakes, the absurd state of politics, the global economy and its ramifications, concerns over oil prices, all seem to obscure and overshadow what happened on this site 5 years ago.

From my perspective, I think we should leave the site as it is. Every American and every person committed to free, civil, democratic processes and societies - should make a pilgrimmage to the WTC site once a year. It should become our sacred destination in the east.

I understand this is not practical and it may not even be appropriate. The geography is too lucrative in terms of revenue generation - real estate is at a real premium in the downtown area. There is also the steps in the process of grieving, with a culmination in getting on with things as a way of honoring those lost.

T = To accept the reality of the loss

E = Experience the pain of the loss

A = Adjust to the new environment without the lost object

R = Reinvest in the new reality

Still, the site as it exists now is a constant reminder of our important place in the world and when something grandiose is built on the site in the future, the site will somehow lose some of the meaning and impact provided by this deeply spiritual and meaningful site.

Uncle John

Lost a dear uncle this morning

When I finally decided to try and not be a wild animal - it was my dad and my Uncle John's intelligence and friendship that helped me transition into a what has been a wonderful and colorful life. For this I am blessed.

When my Uncle John heard that I wanted my Dad's cement mixer, he took the time to rebuild it - installing a new motor, belt, and even a new coat of paint. I don't use the term polymath lightly. The common definition is:

pol·y·math (pŏl'ē-māth') Pronunciation Key
n. A person of great or varied learning.

This term can be applied to both my father and my Uncle John. Though neither were educated much beyond high school, they both were very learned men. In any area of technology, in finance, in life they both used their extreme intelligence to better themselves and those around them.

Well, I didn't get that cement mixer picked up from Uncle John's house until after the funeral. I will just have to put it to use putting in the floor in the stable.

The struggle continues - why blog?

I keep struggling to understand why I am motivated to maintain blogs. Is it solely narcissism at work? This is likely part of the explanation. I heard a quote regarding the Internet 2.0 phenomenon. The Web 2.0 focuses on virtual communities, social networking, decentralization of content creation. Web 2.0 includes technologies and services, such as Flikr, MySpace, Facebook, blogging, YouTube, etc. The paraphrased quote is "Andy Warhol, when describing the pop culture phenomenon of the 60's and 70's said 'Everyone will have 15 minutes of fame' with Web 2.0 everyone will be famous to 15 people".
However, a recent project in which I was asked to write and communicate requirements for a financial trading system convinced me my writing and communication skills had atrophied. Not only this, I am not sure my communication was that precise before aging and inactivity eroded my skills further. I don't recall ever thoroughly analyzing the quality of my communication.
So what does this have to do with blogging?
I realized that when you write something for publication, there is more pressure on refining one's thoughts and checking one's facts. So for me blogging is a very good way to share information that is valuable to me, while at the same time giving me a medium where I can practice improving the precision and quality of my writing. There is an old saying, "If you want to learn something, teach it". My use of blogging to help communicate what I think I know is proving to be a great way to organize my thoughts and improve my communication skills.
Do I have an example of blogging helping to improve my own quality?
Why yes, just today I was writing a blog entry on a useful software program I use to merge and split PDF documents. Initially I wrote about the value of low cost PDF utilities as compared with the licensing cost of Adobe Acrobat Exchange. The question the blog entry created for me was, is the total cost of a set of single use utilities really cost effective when compared to acquiring an integrated product, such as Adobe Acrobat Professional? To my surprise, it may not be the case, as Adobe has added functionality to Professional and also reduced the license fee. I likely would not have corrected my incorrect assumptions had it not been for the motivation to share information regarding a program I found useful for my business.

George Orwell on writing

My friend Eugene, who hasn’t yet denied that he is the Eugene in the incredible song, “Hey, Eugene!” written by China Forbes and performed by Pink Martini (China Forbes vocals), provided me a hyperlink to an essay by George Orwell from 1946, entitled "Politics and the English Language”.

Eugene studies the Metaphysics of Quality identified by Robert M. Pirsig, which I am also trying to comprehend and absorb into my fairly mediocre existence.

When writing Orwell suggests that we ask ourselves:

"1. What am I trying to say?

2. What words will express it?

3. What image or idiom will make it clearer?

4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?

And he will probably ask himself two more:

1. Could I put it more shortly?

2. Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?

But you are not obliged to go to all this trouble. You can shirk it by simply throwing your mind open and letting the ready-made phrases come crowding in. They will construct your sentences for you -- even think your thoughts for you, to a certain extent -- and at need they will perform the important service of partially concealing your meaning even from yourself. It is at this point that the special connection between politics and the debasement of language becomes clear."

Orwell’s ready-made phrases certainly have an analog in the concept of the meme that has been popular for the past decade or so. I really would like to study the relationship between Orwell's ready-made phrases and memes.

Orwell does provide us with some rules that I believe are worth following:

"(i) Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

(ii) Never use a long word where a short one will do.

(iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

(iv) Never use the passive where you can use the active.

(v) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent."

And finally, Orwell gives us the all important meta-rule (although my use of meta here would have him rolling over in his grave).

"(vi) Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous."

Quotation on generalization

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
-Robert A. Heinlein, Lazarus Long

Some old quotations

Looking back at these old quotations I saved - it is interesting to see the change and growth in my viewpoint and perspective over the past couple of decades

"The system can't have architectural integrity there is a relational database involved" -jn may.1997

"Sure you can attend the meeting, I just needed someone there who knows what is going on" - jn feb.1997

"Let's not talk about legal issues - lawyers will be there" - jn mar.1997

"Consulting is a victimless crime" - jn nov.1996

Appearance is just another tool or talent - use it wisely. jn nov.1996

This has been my third day of meeting with management regarding the SOFFEX project. Based upon my actions in standing up for the CBOE, I have left them very concerned regarding their ability to control my actions. Which is good, at least they understand the reality. jn nov.1996

Notice they clone sheep, not lions. jn -oct97

Notre Dame spent money on a marketing campaign touting themselves as "The Catholic Research University", all delusions of grandeur aside, in a related story - that same year, 1992, the Vatican finally reversed its decision regarding the scientific theories of Galileo - indicating that they do have merit. ("One of the great commandments of science is:'Mistrust arguments from authority.'" -- Carl Sagan)

Fate is stronger than probabilities, irony stronger than both. jn aug.1992

In response to Nietzche - "will is needed when reason is forgone" - jn.1987

Resuming the ramblings blog

Going to put the content back up to share with family and friends - still need to be doing this for the right reasons instead of feeding the ego or looking for attention.

Why start up a company instead of going to work somewhere?

Why start up a company instead of going to work somewhere?

I want to become healthy enough that I don’t need external recognition and status for my self esteem. I would rather have my self esteem internal in my core being. I am not there yet – but I work on it nearly everyday. I don't consider myself a worthy human being. I don't yet I feel I deserve happiness or success. I am working hard on being equal and treating everyone equally - for it is by equality that we can all live in peace.

I also am not starting Lasalletech with my son to satisfy my former workaholism needs. Lasalletech is a vehicle or way to continue to work on transforming and growing as a human being. I want to be able to work on other things (building, music, and art) and travel and write. Sonia and I would like to live on our paid for property in the woods up north here as an example of self sufficiency and energy independence. Living in the now not the past or the future.

Let me take the another perspective – The spiritual side of entrepreneurship.
Last night I was talking to Sonia and I told her that it seemed to me the best and happiest entrepreneurs do so with an internal integrity – staying focused on their business – not striving for external recognition – always striving to do the best to take care of their clients from a position of humility not ego - focusing on the quality of the work. Each moment is spent providing the highest quality of service possible. These people seem to be at peace in life and in business and as a result of their humility have gained my respect. I would like to achieve this in this lifetime if possible.

I am now thinking that entrepreneurship can be a very spiritual and meaningful endeavor as can any activity.

I think the universe has told me, despite my trying to control outcomes and my fighting to stay at J&J, that I am supposed to be starting up Lasalletech with Jacob as the next chapter of my life. And if this is what I am supposed to do – I want to do it by being present and with the right intentions.

I don’t have needs in the business world – my goals are inside my own head and heart – to live in peace and in the present.

Lasalletech and working with Jacob can help me toward this goal.

Peace